Finding Nora's Light: Approved to Move

(Read the previous blogs in the series of Finding Nora’s Light)

The tears have lessened… can you cry out all of your tears???  There are still moments that I’m completely overcome with sadness, but I’m choosing joy as often as possible.  We’re still getting tokens of love & thought in the mail, and I’m so appreciative to everyone who’s loved on us!  I may have also developed an online shopping addiction over the last 6 weeks… it’s a fun distraction!  I don’t want to distract from feeling all the feelings, but I want to be in a positive enough place to be productive.  Everyone feels happier when they’re a more productive member of society, right?  I know I do!  Even though I’m not emotionally ready to take on all my previous responsibilities yet, like teaching my PiYo LIVE class, again yet… I want to continue making a positive difference in other peoples’ lives.

For me to best help others, I have to help myself first though, which is why I am so looking forward to getting back on track with my healthier habits!  I’ve been pretty self-destructive over the last six weeks, and I know I’ll feel better physically & mentally if I take better care of myself.  As a virtual health coach, it’s become part of my daily routine, part of who I am, to eat healthy, workout, and do things to improve my overall health & happiness.  Because I’ve experienced what it’s felt like to be in great shape & at my healthiest… I crave to feel like that again.  Even if I was holding a healthy Nora in my arms right now, I would be inching my way back towards a more healthy me.  I’m not being hard on myself, and I still love my body, I just want to FEEL BETTER!  It’s kind of hard to explain, and there will always be people who think I’m extreme.  But I just see it as someone who has made and lived a lifestyle change, who has gotten away from her trusty habits and desires to get back to her way of life.  It’s not even about what my body looks like, even though fat loss & muscle gains will happen due to my renewed behaviors.  I’m very thankful that I’ve been approved to exercise/resume activity as normal and that there haven’t been any major complications from my c-section.

CONFESSION: I’ve had at least one adult drink (wine has been my preference, red, yummm) every day since we got home from the hospital.  Again, I’m not being hard on myself, self-medicating is understood in our circumstance.  But here’s what I don’t want to happen… I don’t want to look up this time next year and realize that I’m still drinking every single day, eating whatever is convenient, and not really exercising with purpose.  THAT is not was grieving means to me.  I have no intention of giving up wine or other drinks altogether, but I need a break in my current path of self-destruction and a jump start into healthier habits.  I’ve actually already been doing some home workouts and eating cleaner than I was the first few weeks following losing Nora.  It felt SO good to get sore again, and I can tell my brain isn’t as foggy on the days I eat healthier, but there has still be SO MUCH SUGAR going on… time for a cleanse/detox/reset!

So, here I am, seven weeks postpartum/post-surgery, and I’m committed to completing a 21-day program that will have me following a meal plan that is predominately plant-based & a supplement regimen, with only light exercise recommended. This will be my 3rd time doing Beachbody’s Ultimate Reset, and I’m really excited about the healthy distraction.  I’ve lost 15+ lbs the previous two times I’ve followed it, so I’m looking forward to my results this time.  In the past, I’ve slept better, my skin has improved, and my natural energy has increased… all great things!  There are a few friends doing it with me this time, and I’ll share my progress as I continue to process my emotions while ridding my body of toxins.  I’m just gonna do my best and forget the rest!

Jessica Sanford